This first of two Brett Ratner films on the list, the man knows how to take a bunch of money, and waste it all on useless crap. The movie was simply just not good, but it is slightly better than its similarly themed brethren, The League of Extraordinary Gentleman and The Brothers Grimm.
It was a pretty damn big gamble to sink this much money into Van Helsing, even though Hugh Jackman was currently beloved at the time as Wolverine. Should I have put this on the list or T3 instead? I’m not even sure. Genesis was no picnic either. The most recent addition to this list has made a lasting impression on disappointed fans everywhere with a phoned-in performance from Bale and horribly told story. Most people complain about Peter Parker’s transformation into a singing emo kid as the main plot point, but too many villains and perhaps too much reliance on CGI sunk the ship completely. Spiderman 3 sucks slightly less than most people think it does, but it’s still pretty awful nonetheless. The biggest crime of this film was that it somehow took Best Visual Effects from Transformers at the Oscars with its CGI polar bears. The atheist’s Chronicles of Narnia just wasn’t as good as Chronicles of Narnia, which really wasn’t that good to begin with. How much can it cost to make someone fly these days? We really did want a triumphant return for Superman, but when he finally did return to earth, we find out that he’s just kind of awkward and outdated. I’m really not quite sure why exactly this movie cost so much money. Unfortunately, when the humans start talking that’s where things start to go to hell. Most of the money here was spent on Kong himself, and all the scenes with him in them are excellent. Not only were most of the sets CGI, but the half the cast was too, and without a solid direction, the two sequels to the original Pirates seemed unnecessary and tacked on. Yeah we’re doing a double feature here as the two are essentially the same movie. 15 and 14. Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End You’ll be surprised to see that even though most of these movies are pretty awful, nearly all of them made their massive budgets back, mostly thanks to distribution overseas, which is included in the “Made” stat. Yes, bein awful is subjective and I’m sure you’ll disagree with me, but such is our way here on TVOvermind. I’ll also tell you that it’s still too early to put Batman V Superman on this list. But believe me, that’s the movie that inspired this list. I guess it’s proof that money doesn’t buy quality, but really, shouldn’t it buy at least a little bit? I picked out what I thought were the 15 worst most expensive movies ever made and lined them up in order of how awful they are. When you take a look at the most expensive movies ever made, it’s quite surprising to see how many of them are mediocre or actually pretty terrible.